Every Moment defines our life anew.

Friday, October 1st, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Now and then you get an invitation to a gathering of people that you don’t know. The only soul you are familiar with is the host. I dread these gatherings and try to avoid them at all costs. But now and then you get the feeling that you need to accept the invitation and step into a world where your whole being is expressing an unease within, that fills you with envy towards those who can step beyond those sensations seemingly blissfully unaware. Words seem to come easy to them. Stories quickly adapted to the flair of the conversation. Mind creations filling the room in no time. And then, hours later, all the stories are told. You either go home or you take the plunge and stay. What for you might think; yet still, you don’t move. You notice the strange sense of nervousness hanging over the room and, still, you stay. Those are the moments worthwhile waiting for.
When everything is said and done and, yet, nothing has been said at all. The creation stage. Where new stories will come alive that one day will lead to a myriad of stories told somewhere else. But for that moment and that moment only this story is still to unfold, still to be created. And the way that story unfolds is entirely dependent on that moment, on that one question, that one remark, on that one extra story dropped like a peddle into the center of a pond that starts it all over anew. You sit in that second of silence that seems like an eternity but you stay because you feel that something has changed. It feels like you stepped into another dimension where suddenly everyone seems to have left and arrived anew. The moment where life is once again being created. And then you either utter or hear the words that start the ripple moving, the story unfolding. It’s not the words that keep you encapsulated, there is something in the way those words are thrown into the pond, something that you cannot put a handle on. And you start wondering who are those people? Who actually are they?

After hours of sharing the past, you suddenly enter the magic of the present moment. Those are the moments worthwhile staying for. Where people engage in creating a new past and a new future– weaving a new web. A friend of mine once lovingly wrote on my birthday card “we are your songs, your music, your dreams” and whenever a moment like that comes along, I hear the wisdom of those words. Yes, you are my songs, my music and my dreams. My experience is limited to my world only and allowing me to enter your world in that moment fills me with humble gratitude. Finding out who you are allows me to finding out who I am – and we can always find more of ourselves. We are but mirrors for each other. But in those moments the mirrors become magical. They reflect back to us what we cannot see within. And we start to rediscover more of us. Those moments are the moments worthwhile waiting for. We need each other to see more of ourselves. We need each other to move beyond the I and you. We need each other to expand our dreams.

New dreams that will allow us to dive into new experiences. New dreams that we would have never found in solitude because, ultimately, we belong to the human species and this is the way that we function on default.

You are my songs, my music and my dreams. But only in that very precious moment when everything slows down and allows the mirror to emerge in front of me. And when you find yourself in that space where the room becomes a mirror cabinet then you know you have truly arrived. Those are the moments that I love. Those are the moments worthwhile waiting for.

This one happened in the early morning hours. But these moments are all around us, the only thing that holds us back from recognizing them is our fear. And the only way to overcome this fear is by recognizing them. When all the stories of the past are told, we cannot but create new ones. Those are the moments worthwhile waiting for. So many times in my life I chose to do something, to go somewhere, with an unease that could easily have kept me from engaging in life. And many times, I felt only exhaustion but what about all those times that have enriched my life in ways that I could have never imagined before? Yes, you are my songs, my music and my dreams and I will never stop opening myself to the mysteries that you have to offer. People have more and more stories to tell as time goes by, but if you are patient enough, they will subside. And those are the moments worthwile waiting for.

And I think of that birthday card: Yes, you are my songs, my music and my dreams – you are my inspiration that fills me with new quests into myself and into life; always aware that, ultimately, I am the singer of songs, the maker of music and the dreamer of dreams. How intricate life is! We need each other to recreate ourselves as our experiences depend on each other and I praise each moment where curiosity slowly and gently takes a hold of me and I stay where ever I might be just for this one moment longer. And in that moment when the sense of unease subsides I can hear another song, another piece of music and sense another dream emerge. Those are the moments worthwhile living for – again and again.