With the modern theories and methods change is often portrayed as a quick fix. Change your belief system and your life will change. Align your belief and value system and things will be coming your way in abundance. Change your focus, change your physiology. This has proven as being true with many energy therapies and neurolinguistic programming. Having attended plenty of trainings in these relatively new modalities, I always found that there was something fundamental missing in these trainings. There is enthusiasm and people seem to be able to shift through many limiting belief patterns. Yes, life is changing. But that change does not seem to bring the lasting comforts that one hungers for. Why not?

We are created to live this human life in order to accumulate experiences. Life is nothing more than this. Our desires dictate what experiences will be presented to us. And it is up to us to recognize them and allow them to enter our life. And so we are playing around with changing our belief systems, changing our thought processes and putting all our energies in achieving what we desire most. But if we have never felt the deep sense of joy, the immense gratitude and the love that is available to our experience how can we know what we are looking for? And without it what ever we are striving for will just be another success story created by our mind. A mind that is limited by our past. If we want to move beyond that then we need to drop into the space of the heart.

There are experiences that can only be felt in the silence and depth of our very being. They can only touch us in surrendering to the present moment. When our senses slowly arise out of an unknown depth to meet the world within and without. When we truly open ourselves to the wonders of touch, sight, sound, smell and taste as if we never have experienced them before. When we enter into the dance of life we realize that each moment brings forth a new combination of sensations and opportunities. We just don’t seem to notice any more.

We are too focused on the brain’s and the mind’s world that is limiting our lives. But we have forgotten to connect deep within and allow the heart to be part of this experience of discovery and wonder. There is no greater connection, there is no greater achievement than the change that reaches us in the very essence of our human beingness. There is no greater desire than the yearning to feel our human beingness with all its senses. The opportunities are plenty, but they are no longer worth anything in our lives because we fill our minds with achievements and successes that will give us a momentary boost until they too fade away into the realms of the ordinary. And so we shall keep seeking and secretly yearning for something that somehow will bring forth our liberation. When we can’t feel love, when we can’t feel gratitude, then it is truly time to ask ourselves whether the experiences we have created for ourselves and our loved ones are truly the experiences we have been seeking in the first place.

There are times when we need to use our brains to move forward and there are times when we need to connect to our hearts. Blessed are those people who know when to switch from the one to the other. And blessed are those people who can combine them into an explosion of life that does not merely satisfy but fill each cell with a sense of aliveness. A curiosity that brings forth the wisdom to move forward through the yet unknown with wonder, gratitude and decisiveness. We all know that space, we just keep forgetting. So, yes, let’s change and grow and make space for that quiet moment in order to reconnect to what exactly it is that we are seeking, what exactly it is that our heart is yearning for. And we might find that in the midst of our efforts we discover an awesomeness of the moment. And we can not but take a deep breath as to lock it in. Then in that connection we feel alive. A glimpse, a window that our mind seems to close, to dismiss very quickly as if guarding us from a world that we do not seem to belong to. Yet, we do belong. We need to catch this mind only once to know. And in that knowing lies the seed of curiosity. And curiosity will draw us into the present moment and connect us to ourselves. The more moments we can find like that the harder it becomes for our minds to shut them out, to belittle them or to devalue them. In that precious connection lies the deep knowing that William Ernest Henley once so powerfully put into the words: ‘I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul’. This is personal growth at its best. So, are you really on your way?

PS: Without breath there is no life, use your breath to awaken your senses. Feel your senses through your breath. Lock them in. And from this place, grow your mind. And as your mind will grow, your heart cannot but expand.

Halka

And here is William Ernest Henley’s poem Invictus that inspired also Nelson Mandela to see beyond the prison cells as to what is possible in this world.

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Venice Photo by Halka Beseda

What would happen if we would allow ourselves to be swept away by the mysteries of life? What would happen if curiosity would take over conformity? What would happen if….? When we reach that space of wonder, something magical happens within. I wrote the following piece in Venice, but it could really be anywhere, if we just stop and listen for a moment or two. Enjoy!

Canal to the Soul

As I walked through the streets of Venice, for the first time, I couldn’t help but wonder what stories had been lived behind these walls. There was an indifference that greeted me where ever I went – as if I hadn’t arrived yet.

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Technorati Tags: Melancholy, personal growth, Poem, Soul, Venice

What happens when we hit rock bottom? For some people hitting rock bottom might be a way of life. For others it can hit us through an illness or unforeseen circumstance. It is easy to set goals and move towards them when we have the energy to do so but what happens when the energy seems to have run out? When everything we do seems to be loaded with heaviness and a sense of disconnectedness? When everything we only think about becomes too much?

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COPING with what is vs MANAGING to grow.

People come into therapy because they want to learn how to cope with their emotions. This is a very noble first step as they realize that their emotional world impacts not only on themselves but also on others. However, learning how to cope is a very limited goal as it has no vision attached to it beyond coping with what is. The potential to create gets lost in such an attitude. And it is in the creation that one grows into its full potential and enlarges his/her own world and the world of others, learning how to manage one’s emotions opens us up to our dreams, to our visions and to the full potential that lies buried within our psyche.

In order to manage one’s emotions we need to know what we are truly managing. We are managing a process to get us from A to B. Coping focuses on the A – getting rid of the A or changing it. Whereas managing focuses on the A, the B and the process to get there. In a quest like that we start creating our vision and not merely hoping that when A changes the world will be a better place, for what ever this might mean. When we understand the B we can start unfolding and identifying the most important factor that motivates us to get there, our purpose which is revealed to us by the question: WHY?

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From the moment we were born we were indoctrinated with ideas, rules and opinions not only about the world but, more unfortunately, about ourselves. Our environment has highly contributed to the person who we are today. We were basically told how the world works and how we fit into it. It is time to review this conditioning and finding out who we really are and start creating our own worldview that will empower and enrich our lives and the lives of people around us.

Who is the person I truly am? Do I want to get upset about the things that I do? How do I want to be in relationship with my loved ones and my fellow travelers? How intimately do I know the people that mean something to me? And how intimately do they know me? Questions that many of us do not even consider asking themselves. Yet, this is ultimately the most satisfying journey that we can embark upon.

Looking at someone and feeling the deep connection fills us with grace and utter gratitude for live itself. Yet, too often are we willing to walk through life without taking the time to stop and to meet in that space beyond our everyday lives and struggles.

Welcoming these struggles as an opportunity to learn is an old taught wisdom. It is the path to liberation, to ourselves and to others. Every struggle is an invitation to ourselves. An invitation for new discoveries, new direction and new experiences as we move from the known into the realms of the unknown, where magic happens.

I don’t know why I am saying these things, I don’t know why I react like I do, I don’t know why I can’t just hold you and truly listen to your dreams and feelings in a supportive and open way, I don’t know why I am the way I am but I know one thing: I would like to know because I don’t want to miss out on my children growing into adults without me knowing them and them not knowing me, because I would not like to lose you (even though it feels like I lost you a long time ago), I would not like to live through life without ever experiencing the multitude of emotions that are available to us as human beings. I would like to grow into the person I want to be.

To do just that, thought, requires that we stop. That we let go of our shame and guilt which has never been ours anyway, and that we open up to the vastness and depth that life has to offer. Truth resonates in every cell within us. If we can’t feel this vibration then we have truly never touched, never seen, never listened and never loved and the sad thing is: if we can’t feel this vibration then we have equally never been touched, never been seen, never been listened to and never been loved not because there is no one there that cared but because we have not allowed ourselves to receive. What are we punishing ourselves and others for? Life is too short.

There is an old Navajo saying “what ever happens here on Earth must first be dreamed”, and Vincent Van Gogh said “I dream my painting and then I paint the dream”, so let’s start dreaming from the very depths of our full human beingness and create that person that we truly want to be. There is nothing that holds us back, except for ourselves. This world is too sad for too many of us, so let’s start dreaming big and let’s begin now!

By Halka Beseda

And here is a wonderful piece of music by Marvin Gaye: Where are we going? Enjoy.

Technorati Tags: change, life, meaning of life, personal development, personal growth

Everyone without exception enters the adult life in a pursuit of happiness.  Some believe to have found it only to have lost it again. Some might taste it in pleasures of a moment. For others, the pursuit of happiness remains a mystery, a faint memory of their youth, a vague dream yet to be fulfilled.

It has been estimated that only 5% of humanity is capable of living a truly happy and joyful life. What is the secret to happiness and where does humanity go wrong?

We might find those rare moments of great joy or an overwhelming sense of great beauty and those occasional outbursts of happiness that fill our whole being. But they somehow seem to linger only for a while. Why do we seem to lose them and get caught up in life again? Is it possible that our thoughts might hold the answer for us?

These moments of pleasure are experiences that have come into being out of a union between our senses and our thoughts. The more open our senses are, the more attention we pay to the them, breath them in one by one, the deeper the feeling can reach. But how much do we truly understand about this interplay of thoughts and senses?

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Treating depression with chemical drugs has become a widespread acceptable solution in today’s world. The new science reveals that the magic pill is nothing else but the magic doing of our mind as findings reveal that placebo sugar pills show just about the same results without the serious side effects of the chemical antidepressants. How can this be?

The featured article in the Newsweek magazine of February 8th “The Depressing news About Antidepressants” by Sharon Begley is a very informative read about the pharmaceutical solution as treatment for depression in the light of new scientific research that looked at placebo vs antidepressant pills.

In discussion with psychologist Prof. Irving Kirsch who has taken the very difficult role to bringing this data into the light, Sharon summarizes the findings and, thus, challenges the notion with her article that depression is simply a biochemical imbalance that is correctable with a antidepressant pill. Find Irving Kirsch talking about the Myth of Antidepressants below this article.

The question that needs to be addressed here is what comes actually first: are the feelings that lead to depression causing a chemical imbalance or does the chemical imbalance affect our feelings and cause depression?

There is certainly a vicious circle happening here as both of the above is certainly true once we are on our way to feeling depressed. Nutrition can affect our biochemical balance equally as our thoughts can. But can the magical pill really cut to the roots of the cause of everything? Or can it at least lift us out of the black hole so we can begin our journey to recovery?

The answer is not that easy especially in the light of the new findings in scientific research around antidepressants. How can it be that a sugar pill, a placebo, can work the same wonders like the real chemical pill? How can it be that pills are prescribed for depression that affect serotonin levels in exactly the opposite ways: one increasing serotonin and the other one decreasing serotonin. How can these two pills show the same effects on our biochemistry? Or do they at all? Is it really the pill or is it our belief that affects our sense of emotional balance?

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Our conscious thought distinguishes us from the animal and plant kingdom. Out of the depth of our thoughts arise the most passionate moments in our lives. The same depths have the capacity to take us to the darkest places within us. Just take a moment and identify your best and worst experience in life without thinking about it.

Without thought, what is left of those experiences? Without thought, how do you define your past or your future? Without thought, who are you?

This kind of thinking has created an increasingly popular saying “You are your thoughts” – but are you really?

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Embarking oneself on a personal growth journey is not about changing our life but our perception and understanding thereof. Emotional change is not something that we only pursue on our personal growth path. Emotional change is embedded into our very life itself – there would be no life without change. Life is change, or even more to the point:

WE are change.

Every second, trillions of reactions are taking place in each one of our cells. Change in itself is paradoxically the only certainty we have in life. Death is following birth, and in that cycle between birth and death we are creating and living our world each moment anew; and out of each moment arises the most precious gift that life is offering to us: our human experience.

Any given moment in our life we feel, we think, we engage with our mind, our body and our spirit. We engage with our world within and without, whether we know it or not. An experience is a felt sense of that energy in motion (emotion) of that intricate relationship of all that is .

In that sea of energy, each moment of ours creates itself anew – moment after moment. Change is the only thing we know – change is the very essence of our human existence.

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At the heart of true personal growth is self knowledge. Having insights into the complexities of our mind is the prerequisite of a fruitful examination into our being of this world with all its intricate relationships we manage, called life experiences. And it all is embedded in a so called map or filter within your mind.

Each day is unfolding based on thousands of little decisions we make and each decision we create in our mind continuously keeps shaping the world we live in and our experience thereof.

Yet our mind operates 99%  in realms that are not easily accessible  to our power of reasoning because that 99% of our decision making process,  that 99% of our mind map is filtered away from our conscious mind. That is why psychotherapists, counsellors and psychologists become inreasingly more popular in our world. Yet, through insights into the mechanisms of how our thoughts are created in the first place, you can do a lot of that work by yourself.

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If you have any questions regarding the content in this website, or just any questions at all don’t hesitate to contact me at the following address. I’d also love to hear any feedback on the site if you’ve found it helpful or have some ideas about how I can improve the site in any way. 

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Please contact me at halka@personalgrowthonline.com

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Halka Beseda

Personal Growth Online.com

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